“Of course, I was just as strong as every other mother whose birth went according to their plan.” It wasn’t until those sleepless nights set in and the fifth reflux outfit change of the morning that the questioning started. Why? Is this really the plan for me?

​While reading Job, I sympathized with him. After multiple disasters fell upon his life, Job was left asking why and only receiving solutions from his well-intentioned friends, but those solutions never addressed the heart of the issue. They were all pointing to what Job must have done wrong. ​

In the midst of suffering, it can be hard for us to remember that God is still there, which makes it so easy for us to turn to those around us instead of turning to Him. Job knew God wasn’t allowing this to happen because he was sinful, just like I knew I was a mother no matter how my child was brought to me or how she was fed. But just like Job, I asked God why such circumstances were happening to me. “Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant me what I hope for…” (Job 6:8). If only God would explain to me why these were my circumstances, then I would understand and things would be easier. 

God never gave Job specific answers to his questions, but He did remind him of the almighty God that He is. He reminded Job of what He had done and that he was the only one who could do such things. God reminded him of His promises and that He was always there, leading him through the valleys. 


While I was busy asking why, I was also busy missing God’s presence in my life. He was always there, right beside me, waiting for me to trust and have faith. Instead of waiting for an explanation, take time to pray and seek God’s presence and peace within your life. An explanation won’t bring peace, but trusting in God and His plan will. Although this present was hard, He was blessing me with a future better than I could have ever planned for myself.

Would you believe that my daughter never spent one second in the NICU and that she was discharged from the hospital before me? I wouldn’t change her birth or the hard road after for anything because God was teaching me to trust in His plan above my own.  I didn’t make this child, God did. I didn’t bring her into the world, He did. And as much as I want to plan for her life, He has a better one. What God brings to our life is always good; He is never against us. But he also doesn’t promise a life without struggle. Friend, give your plan to God and trust in the promise that what He has in store for you is greater. 

In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he explains to them to “live worthy of the calling they have received” (Eph. 4:1) and to do so with humility, making every effort to stay peacefully unified. Paul later relates this concept to marriage: that as man and wife you should be unified “as one flesh” (Eph. 5:31). 
 
After reading this, I felt called out, rightfully so. In the struggle, I was looking to myself to do everything when I should have been looking to God who would have pointed me to my husband. I was trying my best to live out my calling of being a mother, but I wasn’t putting the same effort into my calling of being a wife. I wasn’t humbling myself or submitting myself to my husband, so how could I expect any sort of peace?  
 
I was sitting in that chair at night wishing my daughter would sleep better or that my husband would read my mind. Instead, I should have been communicating with God on how I could communicate better to my husband. It was easier for the enemy to attack me in my sleep deprived state, feeling alone and upset, because I was cutting myself off from God’s guidance and my husband's support. 
 
God doesn’t want us to do everything ourselves. The Bible explains that we are all part of the body of Christ with different functions and to be able to function properly, we have to work together (1 Cor. 12:12-28). We need our brain to tell our feet to move forward so we can walk. In this way, we need our communication to help our families work as a cohesive unit. When we fail to communicate, it is easier for negativity and resentment to bubble to the surface. The doubts and anger from the enemy start to seep in. Paul encourages the Ephesians to “speak the truth” and not to “give the devil an opportunity” (Eph. 4:25-27). 
 
If you’re feeling alone and unsupported, maybe it’s because you’ve cut yourself off from the other parts of the body within your support system. By not communicating the truth of your feelings and needs, you rob your support system of living within the calling that God has given them. Live worthy of your calling and humble yourself to allow others to live worthy of theirs. 
 
In the quiet moments (and the loud ones), I encourage you to pray fervently. After all, communication is key. Let God’s grace and gentle guidance lead you to those around you when you need help and encouragement. Submit to your spouse in love and respect and feel the peaceful unity God has graced upon both of you. 

​Recently, my daughter’s class was asked to dress up for community helper day as something they would like to be when they grow up. My darling first born baby girl thought for a while and said she wanted to go to school dressed just like me, a mommy. That’s when God whispered, “I’ve already given you one.” He was referring to the fancy title I’d asked Him for. God knew I didn’t need a new job or title; I needed a different perspective: His perspective.
 
In 1 Kings, Elijah was fearless in approaching the king and stayed steadfast in his calling from the Lord. Elijah just defeated the Baal priests, but Jezebel became enraged at this and threatened his life. Fearfully, Elijah ran. In his weakest moment, God not only provided food and drink, but also called out to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:9). Elijah was ready to throw in the towel, completely defeated.  Elijah answered, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of Armies, but the Israelites have abandoned your covenant, torn down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they’re looking for me to take my life” (1 Kings 19:14). Elijah waited for a tremendous answer like he had previously received, but that’s not what came. God brought mighty winds, an earthquake and a blazing fire, but His voice was heard in the small, gentle whisper.

​God’s whisper and signs were the encouragement Elijah needed to hear and see from God’s perspective. His confidence came from God and God alone. Nothing in this world can sustain us other than our God. The Lord asked him once more, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:13). Elijah felt God’s presence with him and he was humbled. His words were the same and his situation unchanged but he was renewed by hearing God’s voice. God’s whisper helped Elijah exchange his doubt for trust. 
 
Elijah was waiting for God to answer him with a miracle; instead, He sent Elijah a whisper. He didn’t change his path or his calling. He gave Elijah a shift in perspective. Through that seemingly small answer, Elijah remembered his God given purpose. He was confident and courageous again. He rested in his confirmation from the Lord. 
 
Instead of asking for a change in circumstance, pray for a change in perspective. Pray for your doubt to be exchanged for trust in the Lord’s unfailing love and promises. I encourage you to shift your perspective of how you view yourself to the same lens God uses. The deeper I become rooted in God’s Word, the easier it becomes to step into the identity of who God says I am and to step out of the identity of who the world says I am. God has given you an assignment and if you’re listening, you’ll find guidance and confirmation in His sweet whispers.