Another friend, Martha, set two mugs of coffee on the kitchen table when I stopped by her house for a visit. It was raining pretty hard and the warm welcome was just what I needed.  She gently inquired about the family, made small talk about the weather but quickly turned the conversation to me.  She wanted to know how I handled a recent disagreement with a friend at church.  She wanted to make sure I had acted with integrity during the conversation.  She cared deeply about the person I was becoming and how I was growing as a Christian woman.

Mary and Martha (the irony is not lost on me) were two older, wiser friends God gave me as I was learning to be a wife, mother, and disciple.  Similar, yet different, each one shared wisdom with me in a way I could receive it—often with a mug of something warm and comforting in my hands at the kitchen table.

Maybe you have an older, wiser friend who pulls up a chair at the table with you, too.     

In Romans 1:10-12, Paul tells the Romans that he prays for the opportunity to go see them.  He has a specific purpose in mind for his visit. Verse 11 says, "I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong."

Paul isn’t just talking about a gab session or a social call.  He knows his time with the Gentiles in Rome needs to have some substance—too much is at stake.  The faith of the Roman church was being talked about all over the world!  Paul needed a personal visit with his friends to teach them and invest in their spiritual growth.  Being the wise apostle that he was, Paul also knew the relationship had to be a two-way street.  In verse 12 he continued, “When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.”

If you have had the input of a Mary, a Martha, or a Paul in your life, count yourself blessed.  A seasoned saint who shares truth and seeks to sharpen your faith is a gift not to be taken for granted!  If you have not had this privilege in your life, no matter your age, seek out someone who can be that person in your life.  It can be as simple as asking someone whom you admire to meet for coffee.  Tell them you value their wisdom and want to grow in your own faith.  

Or perhaps you are a woman of faith who can share wisdom, time and cups of coffee with a younger woman.  Ask God if it is time to seek out one who can be taken under your wing.  Then pay attention when He starts showing you women who need the valuable input of a Mary or Martha.  Mentorship does not have to be a formal discipleship program put together by your church.  It can look a whole lot like two women sharing life at the kitchen table. 

I held her baby for her so she could finish packing up. I carried her baby all the way to their seats and we ended up sitting behind her. Throughout the whole flight, myself and another passenger helped keep her toddler distracted and happy.

If I would have waited any longer, I would have missed my opportunity to help. Instead, I trusted God and gathered up the courage to step in and extend God’s comfort.

In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Paul describes God as the God of all comfort. Paul is not describing comfort as a warm cup of coffee, but he describes it as being called to one’s side to help. No matter what we face, His Holy Spirit is with us in every situation. While God is our ultimate source of comfort and strength, often He uses others— like you and me— to extend them.

We were made to be conduits of God’s comfort. With God as our comfort, we can also provide comfort to others.

Look around your community and ask the Lord to show you where you can extend help...

• Pay for someone’s coffee or dinner.
• Babysit for a single mom.
• Share sunscreen or snacks with another family at the pool.
• Deliver a meal to someone in need.

Remember a time when God provided comfort and strength in your time of need. Next time you think about being that comfort for someone do not let fear get in the way; let God lead you to their side.

I imagine the Apostle Paul shared the same sentiment, as he wrote to the Corinthian church. Still (spiritually) young and immature, the believers struggled with comparison. To paint a mental picture for them, Paul likens the church to a body where Christ is the head and each believer a part: head, shoulders, knees, and toes. Eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. Kidney, heart, gallbladder... you get the point. All different. All significant.
 
Truth be told, I’m not all that different from my kids at times. Some days one scroll through Instagram can send me spiraling down the rabbit hole of comparison. The problem with comparing personalities, gifts, and passions to someone else’s is that it can only end one of two ways— leaving us feeling prideful, or filling us with shame. Neither are God’s best.
 
The marker of a mature believer is seeing diversity as an advantage, not a threat. Can you celebrate someone else’s gifts and strengths, while also standing on the truth that yours are also equally valuable?
 
If you struggle with this, you’re not alone. Chapter 12 provides some insight on how we can embrace this all-in mindset:
 
●      The body needs you. (1 Cor. 12:15) Your gift matters. None is more important than another. 1 Peter 4:10 says, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others...” (emphasis added). My grandmother is 83, and always says she doesn’t feel like she has much to offer. But that grandmother raised four adults, who raised nine grandchildren, several of whom started businesses and/or went into ministry. She also prayed me through one of the hardest seasons of my life. Whatever your role is, the body needs you to play it. Don’t fall for the lie that your bread-baking, word-typing, or on-your-knees-praying isn’t needed.
 
●      You need the body. (1 Cor. 12:21) I hear you, friend: relationships are tough. Trying to do life together in unity with a bunch of other broken people can result in a lot of hurt and frustration. But we weren’t made to do life amputated and alone— we must be plugged into the body. If community is what hurt you, community is where you will find your healing.
 
●      The goal is unity, not uniformity, for God’s glory and the common good. (1 Cor. 12:7) Think, for a minute, about how countercultural this is— embracing our uniqueness, instead of trying to be like everyone else or make everyone else like us. Using our strengths to serve others, not ourselves. Setting aside personal differences to come together for the advancement of the Gospel. That is good and God-glorifying. And that’s exactly the point.
 
In Psalm 133:1, King David wrote, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” The opposite of this is also true— “How evil and unpalatable it is when God’s people divide in disunity.”
 
And all the parents said, “Amen.”
 
When we each embrace our God-given roles and submit ourselves under the lead of the Holy Spirit, the body becomes a living, breathing, helping, glorifying picture of Jesus.

The past few months living through COVID-19 and all the restrictions that it brings has really solidified to me the importance of being an encouragement to one another. But, what does that look like? My youngest daughter’s obsession with horses illustrates how we can encourage one another. Horse riders use spurs to direct a horse to move forward or laterally while riding. It is usually used to refine verbal and physical commands.

​We have the Bible to guide us and show us the way, but we need that person who is willing to be the spur in our side to keep us moving forward. The Bible puts it this way, “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds… encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)
 
No one knows when Christ is going to return. This just reinforces why it is so important to encourage one another! We need to be prepared and it’s hard to do that on our own. When we encourage one another in love, we have the strength to persevere. We can do life together and live in unity and community. Not only is this a testament to Christ’s love to those around us, but it also holds us accountable in our actions so we can all be ready for when Christ returns!
 
The apostles renamed one of Christ’s followers from Joseph to Barnabas. Barnabas literally means “son of encouragement” (Acts 4:36). Barnabas traveled with Paul on many occasions. Even the great apostle Paul needed an encourager. I can only imagine why Paul needed his personal cheerleader with him.
 
As I continue to press on in what God has called me to, I encourage you to do the same. If you don’t currently have a Barnabas, or an amazing Aunt, in your life, go out and find one! Or, even better, be a Barnabas encourager to those around you! We all need someone to remind us to keep on keeping on and spur us in the right direction.

If we look in at the early church, we see believers looking for affirmation too. The Gentiles were new to the faith, and they needed others to point them in the right direction. This was a natural part of being a new believer, but over time these Gentiles began listening to the voice of man over the voice of God. Paul, directed by God, told them they didn’t have to convert to the practices of Judaism, but eventually they were misguided by other religious leaders into thinking they needed to follow Jewish rules such as abstaining from certain foods, circumcision, and the list went on.
 
When Paul received word of this misdirection, he was disheartened. These Gentiles had abandoned the freedom of the gospel message he preached and became enslaved to a long list of dos and don’ts. They were not living according to the Spirit who gives life, but according to the rules of man.
 
Paul sums up his heart when he says:
 
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10 NIV).
 
When we accept the approval only God can provide, we can live in freedom because we realize that we don’t need others to validate us.
 
The affirmation we receive from others is temporary, but the security we receive from God is ours to keep. It does not change when we mess up. His grace is not based on anything we do, but on his unchanging love for us.
 
In my journey as a new mom, God showed me that he chose me as my son’s parent. The reassurance I craved was found in the quiet moments I sought God in the middle of the night. He saw each and every step I took in love, and each time I questioned myself.
 
If you’re struggling in your journey as a mom or a follower of Jesus today and need affirmation that you’re headed in the right direction, ask yourself these questions:
 

1. Am I led by my love for God today, or by my need for approval from others?
2. Do I seek God’s guidance in my decisions or do I leave him out of my decision making process?

 
Friends, invite God into the everyday hard work of mothering today. Allow him to affirm you as his child. He is right there, waiting for us to seek him. Let’s accept the free gift of his wisdom and walk in the freedom he gives us.