Communication is Key

​My first daughter was a terrible sleeper. While trying to keep my eyelids propped open and a baby from falling out of my arms, my husband snored happily one room over. It infuriated me. Why didn’t he offer to change her diaper when I had just done it? Didn’t he hear her crying in the middle of the night? Why didn’t he offer to make dinner every now and then? My anger would build all night until both my daughter and I drifted off to sleep. Why couldn’t he just do these things? 
 
I wanted him to know exactly how to help me and to know exactly what I needed, when I needed it. How could I expect him to know when and how I needed help if I wasn’t being clear? I realized I wasn’t asking for his help and when he did offer, I wouldn’t let him. We needed to be working together but guess who was hindering that? I’ll tell you right now, it wasn’t him. We weren’t united as one because I was dividing us.

In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he explains to them to “live worthy of the calling they have received” (Eph. 4:1) and to do so with humility, making every effort to stay peacefully unified. Paul later relates this concept to marriage: that as man and wife you should be unified “as one flesh” (Eph. 5:31). 
 
After reading this, I felt called out, rightfully so. In the struggle, I was looking to myself to do everything when I should have been looking to God who would have pointed me to my husband. I was trying my best to live out my calling of being a mother, but I wasn’t putting the same effort into my calling of being a wife. I wasn’t humbling myself or submitting myself to my husband, so how could I expect any sort of peace?  
 
I was sitting in that chair at night wishing my daughter would sleep better or that my husband would read my mind. Instead, I should have been communicating with God on how I could communicate better to my husband. It was easier for the enemy to attack me in my sleep deprived state, feeling alone and upset, because I was cutting myself off from God’s guidance and my husband's support. 
 
God doesn’t want us to do everything ourselves. The Bible explains that we are all part of the body of Christ with different functions and to be able to function properly, we have to work together (1 Cor. 12:12-28). We need our brain to tell our feet to move forward so we can walk. In this way, we need our communication to help our families work as a cohesive unit. When we fail to communicate, it is easier for negativity and resentment to bubble to the surface. The doubts and anger from the enemy start to seep in. Paul encourages the Ephesians to “speak the truth” and not to “give the devil an opportunity” (Eph. 4:25-27). 
 
If you’re feeling alone and unsupported, maybe it’s because you’ve cut yourself off from the other parts of the body within your support system. By not communicating the truth of your feelings and needs, you rob your support system of living within the calling that God has given them. Live worthy of your calling and humble yourself to allow others to live worthy of theirs. 
 
In the quiet moments (and the loud ones), I encourage you to pray fervently. After all, communication is key. Let God’s grace and gentle guidance lead you to those around you when you need help and encouragement. Submit to your spouse in love and respect and feel the peaceful unity God has graced upon both of you. 

Memory Verse: “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1-3

About the Author

My name is Brittany Marlow. I have been married to my husband, Justin, for 6 years. We live in Georgia and have two of the sweetest baby girls. I love spending time with family and friends at the lake, enjoying a big bowl of popcorn at the movies and working out. I have grown exponentially while being a part of this community. I believe it’s so important to walk through life with others. I am passionate about growing in my faith and helping other women do the same.