“Of course, I was just as strong as every other mother whose birth went according to their plan.” It wasn’t until those sleepless nights set in and the fifth reflux outfit change of the morning that the questioning started. Why? Is this really the plan for me?
While reading Job, I sympathized with him. After multiple disasters fell upon his life, Job was left asking why and only receiving solutions from his well-intentioned friends, but those solutions never addressed the heart of the issue. They were all pointing to what Job must have done wrong.
In the midst of suffering, it can be hard for us to remember that God is still there, which makes it so easy for us to turn to those around us instead of turning to Him. Job knew God wasn’t allowing this to happen because he was sinful, just like I knew I was a mother no matter how my child was brought to me or how she was fed. But just like Job, I asked God why such circumstances were happening to me. “Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant me what I hope for…” (Job 6:8). If only God would explain to me why these were my circumstances, then I would understand and things would be easier.
God never gave Job specific answers to his questions, but He did remind him of the almighty God that He is. He reminded Job of what He had done and that he was the only one who could do such things. God reminded him of His promises and that He was always there, leading him through the valleys.
While I was busy asking why, I was also busy missing God’s presence in my life. He was always there, right beside me, waiting for me to trust and have faith. Instead of waiting for an explanation, take time to pray and seek God’s presence and peace within your life. An explanation won’t bring peace, but trusting in God and His plan will. Although this present was hard, He was blessing me with a future better than I could have ever planned for myself.
Would you believe that my daughter never spent one second in the NICU and that she was discharged from the hospital before me? I wouldn’t change her birth or the hard road after for anything because God was teaching me to trust in His plan above my own. I didn’t make this child, God did. I didn’t bring her into the world, He did. And as much as I want to plan for her life, He has a better one. What God brings to our life is always good; He is never against us. But he also doesn’t promise a life without struggle. Friend, give your plan to God and trust in the promise that what He has in store for you is greater.
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8 (NIV)
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