Frozen

Often, I have sat down to pray, and I freeze. My thoughts and feelings tighten up like a tangled ball of yarn. I sit there, dreading the hard work of taking apart the knots and unraveling the mess. I want my mistakes and emotions hidden because every time I place them before God, I immediately feel naked. There, with nothing to hide behind, He sees all of me. The bruises, the scars, and my red hands are all revealed in a single glance from Him. My fear taunts, “How will He respond if I come before Him this way?”
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In Mark 5, we read about a man who was living his life scared of God, too, for many demons were living inside of him. He broke every chain the people placed upon him with supernatural strength. He was a danger to his community as he could not be tamed and was sent to live among the tombs. Scripture tells us he had been this way for a long time. Walking among the dead, naked, like a wild animal and imprisoned in his own body.  ​
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But then a light illuminated the darkness: Jesus.

When the demon-filled man encountered Him, he fell to his knees at Jesus’ feet. The demons begged Jesus to cast them into the pigs and Jesus obliged, resulting in the herd drowning in a nearby lake.

​After the townspeople saw what Jesus had done, they were afraid and asked Him to leave. Can you believe that? They didn’t ask Jesus, the miracle-worker in their very presence, to heal them also. They resisted Him, instead.

When I freeze up in prayer, I am like the townspeople—refusing help from the one Person who can save me. Friend, can you relate? 

The enemy is scared of God’s power, and he wants to keep us from experiencing it. He uses his age-old tactic, fear, to keep our thoughts tangled, our stomach in knots, and our shame to paralyze us when we even think about being vulnerable (Does this remind you of Adam and Eve, hiding in the garden?).

But just like the once demon-filled man, we can stand vulnerable, humble, ugly, and dirty before Him, and He will clean and free us.  Fear keeps us frozen, but vulnerability with God brings freedom. 

Isn’t it amazing that God is God, yet He still invites us to be vulnerable with Him? When we know how much He loves us, it casts out all fear in His presence.

Today, if you sit down to pray and freeze up like I do, ask Him to cast out the fear, to unfreeze and soften the hard spots of your heart. Sit still and be with Him, for there is no greater love.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 (NIV)

About the Author

​My name is Taylor Watkins. I am married to my best friend, Ethan and we have been blessed with two spunky and sweet daughters. God has equipped me to teach and write through His spirit and it has been such a joyous journey. He has not only uses these gifts to bring children closer to Him but me as well. Jesus is my greatest treasure!
 
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” -Matthew 19:14