Releasing Our Need for Approval

​When I first became a new mom, I felt like I had no compass. After spending years in an office where my work received constant feedback, I craved approval and validation of how I was doing. But the cries of a newborn in the middle of the night provided little indication of anything other than an empty stomach. I longed for some sort of grading scale or gold star.
 
Eventually, I connected with other moms through a local moms group and I realized I wasn’t alone in my craving for affirmation. But I also realized I was looking for it in the wrong place. Praise from others provided me with a temporary boost that was needed on some days, but it wouldn’t provide me with the type of fulfillment I was looking for.

If we look in at the early church, we see believers looking for affirmation too. The Gentiles were new to the faith, and they needed others to point them in the right direction. This was a natural part of being a new believer, but over time these Gentiles began listening to the voice of man over the voice of God. Paul, directed by God, told them they didn’t have to convert to the practices of Judaism, but eventually they were misguided by other religious leaders into thinking they needed to follow Jewish rules such as abstaining from certain foods, circumcision, and the list went on.
 
When Paul received word of this misdirection, he was disheartened. These Gentiles had abandoned the freedom of the gospel message he preached and became enslaved to a long list of dos and don’ts. They were not living according to the Spirit who gives life, but according to the rules of man.
 
Paul sums up his heart when he says:
 
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10 NIV).
 
When we accept the approval only God can provide, we can live in freedom because we realize that we don’t need others to validate us.
 
The affirmation we receive from others is temporary, but the security we receive from God is ours to keep. It does not change when we mess up. His grace is not based on anything we do, but on his unchanging love for us.
 
In my journey as a new mom, God showed me that he chose me as my son’s parent. The reassurance I craved was found in the quiet moments I sought God in the middle of the night. He saw each and every step I took in love, and each time I questioned myself.
 
If you’re struggling in your journey as a mom or a follower of Jesus today and need affirmation that you’re headed in the right direction, ask yourself these questions:
 

1. Am I led by my love for God today, or by my need for approval from others?
2. Do I seek God’s guidance in my decisions or do I leave him out of my decision making process?

 
Friends, invite God into the everyday hard work of mothering today. Allow him to affirm you as his child. He is right there, waiting for us to seek him. Let’s accept the free gift of his wisdom and walk in the freedom he gives us.

Memory Verse: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 NIV

About the Author

Hi! My name is Abby McDonald. I've been married for fourteen years, and am the mom of two boys, ages twelve and nine, and a four-year-old girl. When I'm not wrangling the kids or our black lab pup, I love having coffee with friends, writing, and speaking to women who are thirsty for the gospel. I am passionate about equipping women to find the hope of Christ in the midst of life's messes. My book, Shift: Changing Our Focus to See the Presence of God, is devoted to this purpose and ministry. Connect with Abby at: www.abbymcdonald.org

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