Patience for the Promise

As I stared at what seemed to be the  one hundredth negative pregnancy test, my mind screamed, “Why not? Why isn’t it my turn yet?”
 
Two years before, we had mourned the loss of our unborn little one... followed by a long road of infertility. I was beginning to doubt. I was frustrated, lost, and on the brink of turning away from the promise that I knew, in my spirit, was meant for us – the promise of new, abundant life.

​I began to rely on physical means to bring about the promise we’d been given: obsessively tracking my ovulation, purchasing all kinds of fertility supplements, and even secretly wondering if my husband was the problem. In that season, I made idols of physical means. I had lost sight of Who it was that was guiding me through this wilderness of uncertainty.

If we’ll allow Him, God is always faithful to remind us. In my struggle, He brought to mind a people who had suffered far greater on their journey through the wilderness. In Exodus 32 and 33, the Israelites were in the waiting of a promise that God had given them – to be delivered into a land flowing with milk and honey. They had been promised their rainbow after the storm of generations of slavery, just as I had been promised a life-bearing womb.
 
However, in their long wait for Moses to come down from the mountain, they grew impatient, turning away from THE God and turning to false ‘gods’ to worship. They had momentarily lost their faith and spiritual sight, which, in turn, caused a domino effect of confusion, turmoil, and hardship.
 
Have you ever been so caught up in waiting for a promise that you lose sight of the Promise Maker? Have you ever become so impatient that you turn to physical means to try and make it happen?
 
When our spiritual eyes become muddied and our patience tested, it becomes easier to look to the visible false gods around us, and rely on the false hope they bring. It’s easy to forget Who it is that made us these promises in the first place.
 
Hebrews 10:23 tells us to hold “unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23). What is forever humbling about our Promise Maker in Heaven, is that He is also very much the Promise Keeper. Not even once has He spoken a word that He has not also brought into fruition.
 
In our waiting, hoping, and bold expectation, God answered. After what seemed like an eternity of ups and downs, our promise was abundantly filled. In June of 2020 we welcomed our sweet baby boy, Matthew. That, my friends, is nothing but another miraculous testament to the faithfulness of the Promise Keeper we serve.

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About the Author

Hi there! My name is Breanna Faith Spearman. I'm a soon-to-be mom who's on fire for God and loves to share His Word. I've been married now for four years to my wonderful husband. God has abundantly blessed us, and we welcomed our rainbow baby boy, Matthew, in June 2020.