It’s Personal

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting in a stadium full of people attending a women’s conference. I was in a season where I had lost my father way too soon, was home each day raising my babies, and felt a gnawing sense of insignificance growing in my soul. 

I sat expecting a lineup of dynamic speakers. What I didn’t expect was that the first worship set to kick off the conference would cause me to sink into my seat sobbing. The first song was the most unexpected song I’ve ever heard at a Christian conference.  It was a John Denver song - one of my favorite songs that my dad used to play on his guitar with me sitting at his feet as a child. 

In my little corner of the stadium I cried my eyes out while women around me passed me tissues from the bottom of their purses and asked wide-eyed if I was “ok.” How do you communicate to those around you in a moment like that how personally (and quickly I might add) God began ministering to my heart.
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In a moment, He addressed the grief I carried from the loss of my earthly dad, and addressed the lie of insignificance harbored in my soul by showing me He saw me and had in fact seen all my days. The healing that took place in my heart was nothing short of miraculous that day, and it gave me an abiding sense of purpose, value and communion with God. I'll never forget it.

In reading Paul’s letters to Timothy, I get the sense Timothy was needing this kind of ministry to stay at his post in Ephesus. Equally apparent is the evidence Paul really saw Timothy - his strengths and weaknesses, his gifts, his fears and troubles. Paul addressed Timothy as a son (1 Timothy 1:2) and expressed deep care, a desire to protect, train up, prepare and set him up for success. 

Paul spoke plainly of the hardships to come and the need to stand firmly on the Truth, regardless of the environment. He reminded Timothy of the sound teaching and spiritual inheritance he received from his mother and grandmother, and then reminded him of prophetic words spoken over him by others. All of this had helped develop Timothy into the man of God he was. Remembering gave him strength to stand strong.

We all go through difficult seasons that make us long for God’s personal affirmation and attention. Psalm 139:1 says, “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” We all desire to know He sees us. It is sheer grace from the Father that assigns us our value and significance (Ephesians 2:8-10), and unfathomable mercy that He will comfort us (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). When He does, it is like adding legs to our faith, releasing us to run as ambassadors of the King. 

I hope you have had similar experiences that have propelled you forward in your walk with God. If you can’t recall a specific time He spoke to the deepest parts of your heart, ask Him to. He is a God who gets personal. He is a God who loves you and longs for you to know it. Think of people in your life that have spoken life into you in moments of weariness, like Paul did for Timothy. Thank God for them. Once you do, go forth and be that life-giving presence for someone else. May God receive all the glory!

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” ‭‭Psalm ‭139‬:‭1‬ (NIV)

About the Author

My name is Kerri Barfield. I am a wife and a mama to three teenagers. We reside in Upstate South Carolina. I am passionate about loving and following the Lord and helping others connect to His heart. I feel inspired by nature, and I enjoy long walks, horseback riding and spending time with family and friends. Connect with me at www.mymessengerangel.blogspot.com​