Holes

It was a balmy summer day in Nebraska; a perfect day for sitting out on my back patio to contemplate life while the kids played in the sprinkler. I found myself annoyed with a hole in the fiberglass awning of our rental house. I was annoyed that I had no power to fix it and that fiberglass was just not the aesthetic I was going for. 

This hole made me aware of other holes in my life. My roots were getting grey, our minivan was not an airstream and I no longer felt confident in shorts. I couldn’t live up to the image of my life that I had created in my head. My life was full of perceived holes and I was discontent. My mind’s eye was devoted to health, wealth and happiness and my heart had a hole, just like the fiberglass awning. 

As I sat in the discontented darkness of my soul, suddenly the light shifted, a cloud moved and a beam of light directed my gaze to see beyond the hole. I saw the leaves of my neighbor’s tree shimmering like silver dollars in the gentle breeze of the wind. It was beautiful; a moment made eternal. 

The shifting of the clouds also brought about a shift in my soul. I began to ask myself why had the fiberglass hole taken up so much space in my mind? Why did I care so much about how I looked in shorts? Why were these holes taking over my life? How had the darkness of the holes taken over the beauty of the light?

The answer to all my questions became clear as I mindlessly reached for my phone. I had been passively scrolling down and actively soaking up the views and standards of this world. 

I realized that as I spent more and more time on social media my focus began to to turn to myself, how I compared to the highlight reels and the things I thought I needed in life to be content. My inner light began to slowly fade and I found myself full of darkness. 

Matthew 6:22-23 says, “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!”

God used an ordinary moment to refocus my vision from the holes of discontentment to the beauty of the Holy God through His word.

During those times of darkness, God is faithful to restore our vision and light our path.

What if that hole of discontentment in your life is the window that God wants to shine His light through? Take a moment to think about what these holes are and ask God to light the path back to Him.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

About the Author

Hello, friend! My name is Tierney Nashleanas. I’m so glad you are here! I am a wife to my amazing husband, Trevor, a mama to our inspiring kiddos, Valor and Sylvie, and a health coach on the side. I enjoy experiencing the beauty of God in nature, getting my hands dirty in the garden, sitting by a glowy light to read a book and loading our family up in our 04’ Honda Odyssey we call, “The Adventure Van,” to see where the road takes us. I have a passion for creating words that encourage and inspire others to experience the love that God has for them in Christ.