Broken Chains

When I was younger, I was passionate - to a fault. Quick to anger and slow to back down, even when I was wrong. I thought having the last word meant I won the fight. Have you ever felt this way?
 
I was well into my marriage when I realized the seriousness of the problem at hand. Every time we argued, I would not be the one to say ‘sorry.’ My stubbornness would go into defense mode and I would be sure to point out all of his errors while I kept the sin, that I didn’t know I had, hidden.

In 1 Samuel 24, David shows compassion and spares the life of Saul after he had been hunting him for twenty years. I am sure David surprised himself with his response, but he understood that God was in control and that His will would be done in His perfect timing. 

David told his men that encouraged him to lash out against Saul, “ The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay a hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord” (1 Sam. 24:6).
 
David had his own struggles throughout his life, just like we do, but he knew that his retribution would not honor God. His faithfulness to honor God over his feelings in the moment was more important. Feelings tell lies, but God is faithful to keep His promises to us.
 
That is when I understood that I was more like Saul than I would like to admit. Years later, after the realization that my way was not working, I finally turned to the Lord for answers. He revealed to me my hidden faults. It took everything in me to surrender the sin at hand: pride. God gently exposed my sin and softened my heart, but this realization hurt! I then understood that the anger, bitterness and pain I experienced and caused others was not of the Lord. I used to see having the last word as a victory medal, now I see they were chains.
 
After I repented, God washed over my pain with His peace. The weight of those shackles needed to be broken so I could live the life He intended for me. Shortly after I surrendered, God put it on my husband's heart to share a sin he'd been keeping in the dark. I knew I had to step out of my own way and that was when I noticed, my response was not my own but God’s.
 
A surrendered heart breaks the chains that keep us trapped in sin.
 
When we are so consumed with pride, jealousy and our own emotions, it is quite difficult to see when we are the problem. Satan wants to make us comfortable in the dark. Hiding our sin and masking it with our pride makes his job that much easier.
 
But friend, let’s remember to not be controlled by our own selfishness and look at the situation from the perspective of our trustworthy God. When things get hard and relationships get sticky, remember the love God wants to extend. He exposes our sin because He is light and He disciplines the ones He loves (Pr. 3:11-12). Let’s humble ourselves and yield to the Lord, keeping our eyes fixed on our loving Father.
 
Surrender to Him today and watch as the chains are broken. Let Him have the last word because He is worthy!

Memory Verse: “But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.” Psalm 19:12-13a 

About the Author

Hello! My name Brenna Kurz. I live in North Georgia with my husband Josh. We have been married for 7.5 years and have two beautiful children, Evelyn (7) and Ethan (4). I enjoy working out, spending time with my family and traveling to new places. I have experienced the grace of God many times over the last several years and can testify how merciful and good our Father is. I hope by sharing some of my experiences you will see that you are not alone in your struggles. Also, that you will be encouraged to lean into His word and seek Him daily— He is all we will ever need, we just have to have a willing heart.