By Kandice Adams
The road of life is not easy.
It is riddled with potholes from inclement weather.
It is sullied with debris from those seasonal commuters passing through.
It is paved with speed bumps from well-meaning family and friends.
There are days, when looking back over my own life, that I realize that every difficult road has brought me closer to the Father. Sometimes my experiences have helped others as they navigate the same difficult situations, but more often than not, there are days when I see the events, instead, have caused me useless tire changes on the side of the road.
As I maneuver this current season of motherhood, I find that my experiences have a greater purpose closer to home. I find more and more that I want to send up flares and warn my kids not to take a certain road, by saying, “don’t do that: because I said so: you’ll thank me one day. Heaven forbid my children know that the inspiration of my warnings come from a place of painful experience where my shortcomings caused me to learns things the hard way.
However, I have found that without sharing the story behind the why, the what doesn’t really have any effect.
Recently, the Spirit pointed me to the story of Thomas after the Jesus’ resurrection.
Just a few days prior he had seen his Lord crucified.
He had grieved over His body and over the loss of the promises yet to be fulfilled.
He had even seen his Jesus’ body buried in a tomb so when he was told that Jesus had risen and was walking amongst them, he didn’t readily believe the stories and stated, “unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe (John 20:24-25 ESV).”
Thomas had responded like so many of us.
He needed to know that the same Jesus that had endured the cross was the same Jesus that stood before Him.
He needed to know that he could trust Him at His word.
He needed to see His vulnerability to believe His authenticity.
Later, knowing that Thomas doubted Him, He approached him and said, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe (John 20:26;-29 ESV).”
Jesus didn’t hide His wounds; He exposed them.
He wanted Thomas to know where He had been, the road He had taken.
He wanted him to know that He could be trusted.
But most importantly, Jesus wanted Thomas to know full well, the gift of brokenness He’d given him, so that he could be made whole.
Sweet friend, our children have the same needs.
As they grow into young adults, instead of paving speed bumps along the road, allow them to see those nicks from flying debris.
Instead of withholding the why, allow them to “touch your wounds.”
Let’s allow every season, pothole, and storm that we have endured be used as a wise counsel in their lives. Like Jesus, let your beautiful brokenness be a gift to your children.
Today, if you have been struggling with being transparent before your kids, allow the Holy Spirit to guide the conversation. And as you approach those hard topics, don’t allow pride prevent you from exposing your wounds; don’t allow fear to keep you from showing your vulnerability because it is in your brokenness, that they will find the wholeness which is found in Christ.
Word of the Day:
And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death (Rev. 12:11 ESV).
Lord, you are my God, and I praise you. As I honor you through sharing my experiences with my children, I ask that you guide these hard conversations. I ask that you provide clarity and wisdom in the midst of my uncertainty, and above all I ask that you speak through my experiences, leading them back to you. In Jesus’ name, amen.