Mothering is not for the faint of heart.
When we had our first son, I remember the waves of emotion that flooded over me when I held him for the first time. I didn’t know love could be so all consuming and fierce. I suddenly felt so responsible.
Along with the good emotions I expected to have, came the heaviest weight I had ever carried to that point—raising a human. A thought suddenly hit my young mind, Wait. There is no one to hand him off to if I am scared or don’t know what to do. He is OUR responsibility, and we have no idea on earth what we are doing. I felt a strong urge to hand him to my mom and say, Here. You do it. I suddenly felt very alone.
Fifteen years into this mothering thing, I can definitely say, I am not alone. In that moment in the hospital, I didn’t know how God would come through over and over again.
I didn’t know that when I really didn’t know what to do, if I would listen, He would whisper His wisdom.
I didn’t know that when dropping a child off at a birthday party, He would speak. Not this one, and that would prove to be oh so true.
I didn’t know that when we were prepared to discipline a child who was getting out of bed over and over with a smile on her face, He would tell us to ask her WHY she was getting up. When we did that, she would break down crying and an unknown fear would be exposed.
I didn’t know that as a result of my depression and then freedom, the kids would have a front row seat in watching the God who heals hearts, and they would love Him all the more for it.
I didn’t know that when we would pray for a friend situation, God would provide a close friend for one of our children the very next month. The once-in-a-lifetime, two-peas-in-a-pod kind of friend.
I didn’t know that in the countless situations where we had (and still have) no idea what to do that God would speak His wisdom and hope.
I didn’t know that when we miss His wisdom and go with our own ideas, He is so amazing that He can even turn those times around and bring about good. He is a master at reconstruction, transformation, and restoration.
I didn’t know that He is bigger than my failures, and if I will actually let Him change me through grace, my children learn grace. Grace for them and grace for others—the grace that changes and helps us grow in freedom.
I didn’t know that I could actually trust Him.
Mamas, if today you find yourself in a place where you don’t know what to do and are worried and uptight, you can trust Him. He knows what He’s doing, and He hasn’t left you alone. Turn to Him. When you find yourself in a place where you don’t know what to do, just ask. I cannot tell you how many times I have been in a discussion with a child or a teen and I am completely at a loss. In mid-conversation, I will ask Him, “Now what?” When I do that, He gives the much needed larger perspective.
Do I miss it sometimes? Oh yeah, I definitely do—a lot.But I have found that even in those times God can bring the situation back around. He really can. Do I forget to ask? All the time, but I am learning to back up when things are going in the wrong direction and to recognize that I am trying to do the mothering thing alone.
Mamas, you are not alone. It does not all depend on you. This God of ours knows every part of every situation and wants to give us His wisdom for the beautiful but sometimes overwhelming job at hand. You’re feeling a bit overwhelmed today? So am I. Let’s go to Him.
Word of the Day: If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. (James 1:5,NLT)
Prayer: Father, thank You that You have all the wisdom I need. Help me to learn to rely on You and not on my own wisdom and ways of doing things. I pray that our home would be filled with Your grace and that Your heart would come through. Thank You that You are leading me even as I lead my children. I give You the burden I am carrying and trust You with my life and the lives of my children. Thank You that You are a God that I can trust, and that Your heart is towards us. You are not a God who is far off, but a God who is near (Acts 17:27). I choose to trust You and Your heart for me.
Author: Wendy Gerdes