Recently my dear cousin and I got together for a long-awaited play date with our littles. The minutes flew by as we caught up on each other’s lives, while strapping shoes, fetching snacks, and keeping the more adventurous tots from the brink of extinction.
“I’m such a bad mom,” she lamented, after confessing her guilt for not having taken her son to the dentist for a checkup, as of yet.
The words stung in an unexpected way… I’m such a bad mom.
I calmly and confidently reassured her this was not the case, even though everything within me wanted to shake her until she believed it to be true.
How many times do I let this “bad mom” mantra replay in my head?
When I forget to pack my son snack.
When I miss an important school event.
When I order pizza for the third time this week.
When I “lose it” during bath time and the kids go to bed upset.
I’m such a bad mom. I’m such a failure.
If you’re like me, you probably speak gentle whispers of “grace, grace, to other moms, all the while beating yourself up for falling short of your own expectations.
More often than not, I allow my failures—or my child’s failures—to define me.
Do you do this?
In just a few short days, we’ll be celebrated with handmade cards, homemade breakfasts, and handprint-laden coasters…and possibly a few indulgences (fingers crossed, am I right?).
But there’s a gift that I believe God wants us to give ourselves this Mother’s Day.
It’s not a day at the spa or that new hairdo you’ve desperately been wanting (although you do deserve those, too!).
No, I believe the gift God wants us to give ourselves today and every day is the gift of grace.
We moms, we are hard on ourselves. And the world? Even harder. We’re expected to look young, fit, and fashionable, while putting twenty one healthy and delicious meals a week on the table... all while documenting it all on social media. Groan.
So what does that mean—to give ourselves the gift of grace?
I believe, when you boil it down, it’s about allowing ourselves to receive His grace.
Friend, if you have accepted Christ as your Savior, then you are a Daughter of the Most High God.
Among so very many things, your Creator says you are:
Loved (Romans 5:8)
Valuable (1 Corinthians 6:20)
Forgiven (2 Corinthians 5:17)
And worthy (Ephesians 2:4-9)
It’s all undeserved. It has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with Him. God lavishes this gift of grace on us, fully and freely—we only have to receive it.
My pastor says something to this effect all of the time: Your identity is greater than your activity. In other words, you are not valuable because of what you do, but because of Who you belong to. The hard truth is, when we feel like a failure it is because we are placing our worth in an area it was never meant to be--our doing.
But when we place our identity in Christ, looking to Him alone for our worth, we can speak whispers of, grace, grace to ourselves, knowing that we are not defined by our mistakes and shortcomings.
Instead of sitting around worried about how we’re surely ruining our child, we can rest in the assurance that He is doing a work in us and through us, and His plans will not be thwarted by our inadequacies.
Whether your kids ate a home-cooked meal or nuggets off the floorboard,
You are not a “bad mom”.
You are not a failure--
You are a wonderfully made, fully-loved, equipped and Christ-commissioned Daughter of the King.
Rest in that grace today, friend.
Word of the Day:
Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment]. (Hebrews 4:16)
Father, thank you that I can rest, knowing that what You say about me supercedes all of my “bad mom” feelings. Forgive me for placing my opinion of myself above Your truth. Lord, renew my mind and help me to see myself as You see me—fully loved, fully forgiven, worthy, and enough. Thank you for your gift of grace, today and every day. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Author: Katie Gibson