“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” My husband and I heard this quote in a movie years ago, and it’s stuck with us ever since. I think about friendship often. I need friends. I need good friends, and so do you.
We were created for relationship. We were not created to be alone. We were created to feel, to communicate, to embrace, to share, and to ‘do life’ with people around us. We were not created to be loners, to be friendless, or to be isolated.
Scripture begins and ends with relationship. In the beginning God created the earth, the Spirit hovered over the waters, and when God said, “Let there be light,” He was speaking Jesus! Think about that! Trinity. God exists in relationship, and He made us for relationships - relationship with Him and with others. And, at the end of this age, Jesus will come for His bride, the church, and we will worship the Lord together, for all of eternity.
My husband is my best friend. Eric knows me better than anyone else knows me, and I know him better than anyone else knows him. I share most everything with Eric; struggles, joys, laughter, hurts, fears, accomplishments, insecurities, and victories. He’s safe. I’m safe. Though marriage isn’t always easy, we love each other and are committed to each other. However, as sweet as our relationship is, it isn’t enough.
The past couple of weeks have been challenging. I could give you a list of everything that has gone on, all the good stuff, all of the bad stuff, but I won’t. I’ll just tell you that multiple times I felt like quitting. I felt overwhelmed, exhausted, disorganized, taken for granted, and hormonal.
My house was a mess. By a mess I mean a total mess. My bedroom had piles of clothes from a recent trip still on my floor waiting to be put away a week after our return. I don’t want to even talk about the toilets or my fridge, or our big white van…I felt myself sink into the familiar pit of despair.
Then…I had a meltdown. Not pretty. I cried and I screamed. (Yes, I screamed.) I was not okay…
So…my amazing husband took me with him while he ran errands. He let me cry in the privacy of our van. I talked to God. I asked Him for help, and then, I texted a couple of my good friends. Here’s where I get back to friendship. My husband Eric is my best friend, but sometimes I need more than Eric, I need my girl friends, and Eric needs me to have these friends.
I have some really good friends. They know me well. They know my struggles and my strengths. They rejoice with me when I am blessed, and they cry with me when I’m hurting. They speak truth to me. They pray for me. They don’t share my crud with others. They don’t laugh when I fall. They don’t get offended when I speak truth to them. They are kind. They are fun.
They are all different. My friends don’t all have six kids, nor do they all homeschool. Three of my closest friends live hundreds of miles away. They are not all thirty-six years old, and they don’t all share the same movie, music, and clothing preferences.
Like me, they’re not perfect, but they long to be like Jesus.
Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
When I text or call a friend for prayer, they pray. They speak Scripture or words of encouragement to me, and I find myself strengthened, and my perspective gets back on track. My friends can’t fix me or my problems, but they point me to Jesus, my husband, my family, and my purpose.
Verse of the Week:
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls, but has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Heavenly Father, thank you for friendship. I recognize my need for good friends, and I ask you to lead me and help me in my friendships. Help me to be the friend you want me to be. Please provide me with friends who will encourage me in my walk with you. I pray that I will have wisdom in my friendships. Show me which friendships you want me to nurture. I ask for ‘iron sharpens iron’, ‘two are better than one’ friends. Thank you for calling me your friend. Speak to me this week as I commit my friendships to you now in Jesus name.
Author: Melissa Holmlund
The other day while I was driving, I noticed a sign on the side of the road that said, “Note to self, You Are Enough.”
For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with feeling like I am NOT enough. I’m smart, but not smart enough. Pretty, but not pretty enough. A good friend, but not good enough. Good daughter, good wife, good dancer, good mom, but not quite good enough.
The list could go on and on.
This is not God’s heart, nor how He views me.
This is not how He wants me to feel.
No particular person or people in my life made me feel this way. I have personal pain and areas of shame that contribute to my feelings of “not good enough” but really, it’s a lie I chose to believe starting at a very young age.
A while back I was crying out to God asking him to deal with this area of my heart and heal me. The women’s group at church was doing a devotional book called Freedom From Performing by Becky Harling. Even though I didn’t attend the group, I felt led to get the book and do the study on my own. Working through this book brought significant transformation to my life. The Lord used each chapter to deal with my pride, my shame, and my need to please people. He also spoke some very sweet things to me and showed me more about who I am, and who He’s called me to be.
He has crowned me with the beauty of being enough. I wrote this down at the end of chapter two. I am enough because I belong to Jesus. I am enough because I am no longer my own. I was bought with a price. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit!
Friend, today you may be saying, I’m not a perfect (you fill in the blank) and that is okay.
I will not do everything without fault at all times and this is okay.
But, please remember, you can be naked before God without shame. You are fully known, loved, forgiven, empowered, and pursued by Him.
I still struggle with insecurity, but now when I’m triggered, I recognize the ugly voice that says “You are Not Enough”, and I tell it to go. “I am crowned with the beauty of being enough.” I ask my closest friends to pray for me, and we shove that lie out the door!
Verse of the week:
“For as you know Him better, He will give you, through His great power everything you need for living a truly good life: He even shares his own goodness with us!” 2 Peter 1:3
Father, thank you for crowning me with the beauty of being enough! Thank you for making me your daughter, redeeming my life, and setting me free from shame. Help me to see myself as you see me, knowing that you will give me everything I need to live a good life. Thank you that I don’t have to compare myself to others but can rejoice in the woman you have created me to be. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made!
Author: Melissa Holmlund
Jesus told His disciples, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them. For such is the kingdom of God. Whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will not enter it at all” (Mark 10:13-15).
We are doing kingdom work. We are receiving the children God has for us. We are humble queens to our families as we serve them, train them, and pray for them.
Our children will not be little forever. Our days of being queen of our homes with little ones underfoot will someday come to an end. But when that time comes, we will not stop being queens.
I will be a queen for the rest of my life. YOU will be a queen for the rest of your life.
Our kingdoms will grow as our little ones grow. Our territories will enlarge as they venture out into this world. Those of us who are faithful in little will be made faithful in much.
Life on earth is short! Eternity is long. Our time of training here on earth as mothers is training for reigning in eternity.
Rejoice, dear mothers, in the good work of motherhood God has called you to. You are not JUST a mother. You are not JUST a wife. You are queen of your home and of your family. You are impacting generations to come. You are making a difference not only in your home but also in the nations—for eternity!
Author: Melissa Holmlund
We are like Sarah. Though we are too selfish, too messy, and too flawed, God chose us. He chose to love us and to make us the mother of children.
Whether you have one child or ten, whether they are from your womb or are adopted or are your spiritual children, YOU are God’s Sarah. You are His choice and His love. You are HIS pick to be queen of your home and of your kingdom.
We care for our homes and children, not as slaves, but as daughters of the King and as the Bride of Christ.
Our “humble” work sometimes feels like endless exhaustion. It may seem like sacrifice and striving. But God says, to she who endures, to she who overcomes, “You will sit with me on my throne. You will reign with me.”
The greatest kingdom work is serving. As mothers, we have the opportunity to serve in many different ways, every single day. Jesus didn’t come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45).
If you are weary and discouraged, asked God to encourage you and strengthen your heart. Reach out to a friend and ask her to pray for you today. God has given you everything you need to be a mother and queen of your home. You are not alone!
Author: Melissa Holmlund
I am a humble queen. I don’t rule over lords and knights or people in high positions. I don’t rule over large domains of land. (Although, through intercession, I believe we can take dominion of lands!) When I speak, I don’t have the audience of hundreds or thousands. I have a house, five acres of land, and six children.
But, only God knows how much land the six of them will possess! Only God knows where they are going to set their feet! Only God knows whom these six children will reach and what THEIR kingdoms will look like.
Sarah had one son. She had Isaac. Isaac means laughter. Sarah laughed at the promise of her son. She was too old, too wrinkled, too worn. Sarai means ‘princess’. Sarah means ‘princess of a multitude.’ When God promised Abraham a son, He changed Sarai’s name to Sarah. Sarah belonged to God. She was HIS princess, His love, and His choice to be the mother of nations. Kings of peoples would come from her.
I encourage you to listen to the song “Who But You” and remember that when you see your little children, God sees generations!
Author: Melissa Holmlund