Sometimes I tell my children I have to go to the bathroom, and I really don’t need to. But, I go in and lock the door. When they were younger, I sometimes skipped pages and pretended to sleep. McDonald’s was not closed that day. I lied to my own children. I feel badly about these things. Mostly the skipped pages.
What a jerk.
Tell me I’m not the only one. We’re all guilty of stuff like this, aren’t we?
In truth, these examples are silly. Pretty trivial in the grand scheme, but it’s relatable. We understand regret. It’s one of the devil’s favorite scams, and it works marvelously.
Truth: Some regrets are way bigger than skipping pages in a picture book. Some are astronomical.
If I wouldn’t have. Or If only I would have. A gut punch that never stops. Just keeps going. Over and over. It’s too heavy to lift, so you drag it. Everywhere you go, it’s there. Every mirror glance, it stares. Every heartbeat, it throbs.
The weight of it becomes entwined into our souls. We get used to the aching gut. It’s part of who we are – who we’ve become – and there’s an odd sort of comfort in it. Life without the pain is too far away. We can’t remember it anymore. We’ve become familiar with the weight and might not recognize ourselves without it. We believe it’s our right punishment. We deserve it, so we cling.
I don’t want this. You can’t know how badly I want to be rid of it.
Are you sure?
Of course, I’m sure!
Then, give it to Me.
But, I’m afraid.
That You won’t take it. And I won’t trust You anymore.
Sister, trust Him. Take Him at His word. Our Jesus’ burden is light. He says so. The devil is telling you to keep it close and never let it go. He whispers, You deserve to bear that cross. He’ll never forgive you for that. He tells you Holy Father – Abba Father – is unable, unwilling, uninterested.
Oh, really, devil?
Jesus burden is light (Matthew 11:30). We know this because He says so. All He says is true and trustworthy because He’s unable to lie (Titus 1:2). Therefore, this weight you’re carrying is not of Him. It’s of the devil; he’s a liar.
Bare your soul to the Father. Let Messiah cover your wounds with His and heal you. He will fill your gaps with peace, grace, forgiveness, rest, joy. Loosen your fingers, release that old regret, the pain, the “if onlies.” Chuck it. Get rid of it, that ugly bundle of pain and guilt. And, He’ll take and cast it far away. Because He loves you.
Word of the Day: ” … casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7
Jesus, forgive me. Forgive me for grasping my sin and shame when You’ve covered it. You stand with open hands and say, Give it to Me. I cling. Please pry me from myself and allow me to trust You. Take these things I’ve been holding too closely and show me the perfect peace You offer. Thank you, Precious Savior. Amen.
Author: Melissa Bronson