There we sat, clutching coffee, in Katie’s warm livingroom, discussing grammar with our editor. I slouched down in my chair, hoping no one would realize I was the queen of the misused hyphen, when suddenly we were challenged to “dive deeper.”
Uh, wait a minute… policing my semicolons is one thing, asking me to be even more transparent on a blog is scary for me. Can’t we just keep this about our kids and their crazy antics?
“Sure” choking on my coffee, “Just exactly how deep?” I asked.
Then it was suggested we look at some of the characters in the old testament for inspiration.
Yeah! I thought, Esther: Amazon woman of the old testament; saving a generation! Booyah! That will be my next post…
No wait, maybe Deborah, ace career woman, power broker and hand-picked magistrate. Oh. the choices!
We prayed, and I felt God quietly speak to me. The conversation went like this:
God: “I want you to write about Moses.”
Me: “What? Moses? Ha, that’s funny God, are you kidding me? Did I have too much coffee? Surely Moses has no place in a mommy blog.
First, God, Moses is a guy!
Also... he is NOT a mom, ok so he did lead a small nation of sometimes grouchy people through a desert. I get this. I myself have once driven by Sonic, with a van full of thirsty kids... in July.”
I’m not really big on dramatic prayer. Usually my back and forth in prayer is in still small, but potent, whispers with the occasional loud outburst of me explaining to God that life is frequently unfair.
All the way home that night, I thought about Moses and tried to figure out how he could possibly be anything like me at all. With his unusual birth, saved from death by a princess and subsequent palace life-- hardly my upbringing, in an upstate New York split level.
He once killed someone… okay, I would be lying if I said that thought never crossed my mind (especially in construction delays on I-75). Other than those two things, we hadn’t much in common...
But Moses was also an alien in a foreign land.
I suddenly thought about single parenthood and how alienated we sometimes are in the presence of happy couples, raising their kids-- all that on top of being a mom of a special needs child. I’ll never forget when they stopped inviting me to the neighborhood playgroup when Josh fell behind the curve. I, of course, inadvertently found this out on a day we spirited off to the park and saw the entire playgroup… minus us.
I think that there are a host of mothers that feel alienated at one time or another. The military moms, the pastor moms, living in a fish bowl of perfection. That awful place where you just don’t fit into “normal.” Moses, the rescued Jew, in the Egyptian palace, then the murderer in exile, actually lead a nation to freedom. God chose him, which I think is simply amazing. He certainly had a colorful resume that should have completely disqualified him. Yet God picked stuttering Moses.
God loves the outcast. In Him, we belong. Even with our differences and shortcomings, He redeems the alien. He is with you in exile even if that exile is in a subdivision, office or in your kitchen feeding a toddler.
Ironically, the real me... is amazingly like Moses.
The one who wants to shake, quiver and convince God I am not the woman for this job. Moses and I do have a lot in common. We serve the same God whose name is “I AM,” the “I’m possible” in the word impossible.
The one who unconditionally loves those who are different, and makes something great out of them.
Word of the Day:
“Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-30
Father, when I was spiritually displaced, broken and alienated you chose me still. You have crafted my destiny from the beginning of time. You strengthen me with support and you give me courage to raise my children in the face of challenges. Help me to identify with your strength and not my own weakness. Father God together we will make it to the promise land.