Having a teenage son is an interesting change from the familiar female routines that come with raising girls. Occasionally, I end up with more than one at my house for a chunk of time. Instead of smelling nail polish and listening to giggles over pictures of boys, I smell strange male scents and hear the sound effects of SOCOM on the Playstation. Those boys can spend hours playing the same level over and over again, never really getting anywhere.
Recently, I asked my son how he could repeatedly play the same level yet repeatedly fail, and he stated that they had a love for the game, and it didn’t matter how many times they failed the level.
Honestly, I wish I could say that about any area in my life.
I can be, what you might call, destination driven… yes, I just coined the term, so let me explain.
As a destination driven person, when I determine an end-goal for a particular situation, I charge in the direction towards my goal until I reach success or believe ultimate failure is eminent. I might repeat it once, but early on, I decide that it isn’t worth the risk or the trouble, so I change destinations.
In essence, I quit.
Now this probably isn’t good for any area of my life, but it can be downright harmful to my spiritual life.
When I was a new Christian, I worked diligently on every area of my spiritual life. I tried to do everything right so I did not make God angry. It seemed that I repeated the same “level” over and over again, much like the boys were doing – but try as I might, I failed continuously—I sinned. Eventually I gave up altogether and stopped following Christ. I was exhausted from trying to have it all together; I was exhausted from trying to please Him; I was exhausted from failing and then worrying that He would be angry with me.
So, I quit.
But thankfully He placed eternity in my heart and reclaimed me to Himself.
Though I know that in my head, there are days I still struggle.
There are still invisible “levels” of my walk that I perpetually repeat.
There are still places I have to hit a breaking point before I come face to face with the newness of His grace.
It is only because of the Spirit’s gentle whisper that my heart concedes and understands that He doesn’t want my destination to be perfection; He wants my destination to be His arms.
If I don’t give up but give my iniquity to Him, He will let grace fill that blank space.
If we don’t give up but give our anxieties to Him, He will let grace fill that blank space.
If you don’t give up but give your pain to Him, He will let grace fill that blank space.
Whatever level you are repeating, give it to Him and allow His grace to fill that blank space.
While it is true that we won’t reach our goal of the perfection that we see in Christ, the effort yields its own rewards.
The reward is a closer relationship with our Savior, who, by His grace, has set us free.
Today, if you feel that you are failing miserably in an area of your life, whether it is being the awesome mom you envisioned, or controlling seemingly uncontrollable anxiety, free yourself from the invisible level that you are repeating because He has completed it for you and has set you free. And let me encourage you to not give up, but instead give it to God, and allow His grace to fill that space.
Word of the Day
"Brothers, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14-15
Father, I thank you for your grace which can only be found in Jesus and for your mercies which are new every morning. Today, please help me to focus on your perfect love which covers my every weakness in entirety, and when I hold on to my stuff tightly, help me to release it to you, in Jesus Name, Amen.